The secret to life.

Meeting is a chance. Chosen is the stance.
Different obstructions lead to different routes. Rustling beaches of Morjim and sunset skies of Baga. We move ahead. Onto a new destination. Holidays to put you off present. A destination forgetting foot prints. Rendezvous in time. Lapse. Those waves refold. Composed others opposed. They smile and scare. Decompose yourself in that one hotel room.
Locked inside a bottle,fizzing out of smoke. We held hands together. Walking water on the feet, slips between your toes. On the beach. Away and in darkness,before the spectrum. Empty dance floors. 3 hour Bollywood haul. Fly away, feel ecstasy  I looked around, he held my hand. I looked around,again. He firmed his grip. I looked around once more, i saw her. A spark some smoke and boom. Then was a beach which was walked upon by her. Not alone. Not with me. With him. A week long memory. Although in this shes a part,forlorn. We love laugh live. We cry care caress. Two way train, away from all the pain. Little company but crowding seas. Flying around high, falling down deep. Jittering lights,cornered streets. Zipping scooters, loud silencers. Something to realize something to feel. A leg in two boats, detached - destabilized  Shoot is over,time to pack up. The lights are dim, curtains are closing and I stand still. This anecdote is a memory,a parody.

What's in your Camera?

I have never been a movie watcher. Movies leaves one with a great impact about anything, possible everything. But I haven't been one of them. I would never take extra efforts to go watch a movie. I watch serials but I majorly into pretty worthless ones too. Nothing that would actually change my mind except till the time I watched this documentary Born into Brothels by Zana Briski. My love for photography made me watch this. I googled a documentary not because I have an intellectual flair of watching/critiquing the same but because they are short. But I was amazed at how this was shot. The photographer actually lived with them in those conditions. It makes me wonder how situations force people to act and become in a certain manner.They adapt themselves to this bubble, a non porous one, unbreakable one. Its almost chilling to your spine to see kids who would leave a good environment with cleanliness, hygiene and positivism and go back into the dingy dark lanes of body odor and squalor. This documentary also highlight a few flaws in our national laws. Prostitution might be a crime but the children born out of this, are not criminals.They are as innocent as others. Hence I see no reason why they should be denied education or right to have a fresh start.
This film pushes you to go beyond your own parameters of tolerance , to see the blurry red lights which have more stories than those high rise buildings. The services offered are same at both places. One approaches the raunchy and elite but the other one goes to the distressed and laborious.

I don't know what I wish to tell you here. Its just a documentary, but I think you should watch it.
Adios !

Recipients Of Revenue

Savings and Expenditure. I had a conversation yesterday about how the west is a place where fortunes are built by their own hands. Mainly because they don't save for anyone and live off what they earn. By not saving, it doesn't mean you live on debt and credit cards but living life on the edge. Not everyone has the power to keep their fists clasped as soon as they deposit a cheque, see the rising account balance and do nothing about it. I mean necessities are fulfilled but we don't spend on our wishes, thinking we might not be able to afford it ! So there are two types of people,oh actually three.
1 : People who don't spend. At all. They spend their lives saving up and ultimately they die mediocre and pass on all their hard earned money to someone else.
2: The off spring of (1) who spend their ancestors money lavishly and save and invest their own in turn becoming economically a comfortable class.
3: The off spring of (2) who has been raised and ruined by this very society which has provided them all the comforts, but not the wit to make their own legacy. They want to but they can't.

These are of course not the only kind of people who earn money but it pretty much relates to what I wish to talk about. None of my points might be perfect but I think I fall somewhere between being a no.1 and no. 3
I want to save money before I spend it. I have a wishlist,a huge one and I might have the money at some odd times but not the heart to spend it impulsively. I have been called a miser sometimes and a shopaholic. But having seen the people around me. Baah. Not a shopaholic. I have often found myself contemplating whether  the things I desire are worth the price tag on them! I dig down a beautiful dress which would have the perfect cut, the perfect sleeves, probably 10% overpriced but generally worth the look and bang when I am about to hit the pay button! I stop and calculate: Cost of Cloth + Cost Of Stitching + Cost of Travel and Effort = I can make this dress on my own in about half the price. *Perks of having a good tailor*
BUT, the but is I never do and that makes me 1. Not having the dress 2. Lazy.

Coming to the (3) type people. When I find myself contemplating over a Rs 1000 dress.I see others my age, probably richer[because of (2)] but that's not the point. I see them buying off a freaking "eye pencil"  for the same amount,without guilt instead a deep sense of satisfaction. Now how does (3) make money? Because at some point in life, monetary help will stop and you have to make money by yourself. To what I have noticed, these guys make money by others, by fooling innocent people and taking undue advantage of many kinds of ( 1 &2 )'s in their lives. They will not want to utilize you for your own gain and show you down about how you messed up. They have a self satisfying ego which will keep boosting and boasting their futility. These people are selfish and cannot live without monetary support, they take to binge expenditure etc. I cant judge them but I can say no one should take advantage of anyone. Or even if you do, have grace to respect the other. Also, a loss is shared in the same way as a gain is. On that note, my new year resolution is : Self Respect is Earned and Taken not given or distributed.

Walk into trouble

FIRST ATTEMPT AT MAKING A VIDEO.

Calls for a Chaat !

A day or two ago I saw a movie named Julie and Julia and how Julie starts writing a cooking blog inspired by Julia and her French Cooking made easy for Americans. Since then I have been almost salivating all day,to exaggerate a little. But now what I wanted to write about is my favorite food. Being an Indian I am blessed to be born with chaat around me. We have several types of chaat, dry and wet. Some are yogurt based and others are just filled with yummy Indian spices ! So today to quench my deep desire for chaat after watching the movie, I ate Golgappe! Synonyms of the same are Panipuri,Gupchup,Puchka,Paani ke Patasshe all of which are slightly different versions of the basic sweet - sour chutney and mint water in a puri ! You can eat them from vendor to vendor mall to mall the taste will vary ! But you will always have a favorite. Personally hygiene is not my concerns when I wish to savor this dish! There is a parallel between having tasty golgappas and hygiene,they will never meet !! My father often says "how he doesn't wash his hands,touches the ground,scratches his legs and hair and feeds you with those same hands" Well, I don't care. After  a point you become immune to this drug and its like a vaccination. In the few years I have seen my craving for chaat has increased tremendously. Chaat has an innate capacity to pull you to it. Summers? Oh lets get something chilly down the throat ! lets have golgappe ! Winters? Oh lets have golgappe, it will be who will beat the cold ? Lets go eat !

Having said this,I would want to tell you exactly my feeling when the "golgappe wale bhaiyya" cracks that full poori with his thumb, makes a little hole, adds the potatoes, adds he sweet sour chutney,adds the mint flavoured water aaannd serves it to you in that foil paper plate. You stare at it for one second, but sooner you realise you gotta eat it before it gets soggy and before the "golgappe wale bhaiyya" gives you your second one. So now is the moment of truth. You take the entire little piece of heaven into your mouth and crush it between your teeth. Feel the crunch,that gush of water...then the water suddenly getting a tad more thick with that delicious chutney and finally all that acidity is neutralized by the potatoes ! And THIS IS HOW YOU FINISH A GOLGAPPA.
That is the sad end my friend. But don't be disappointed , he'll give you another piece of this heavenly dish and by the time you finish it,you'll have tears in your eyes! Of joy and of sorrow that its time.

Mannequins and Make up

I have noticed this surge in women and their likes with lips,eyes, chiseled cheek bones and this feeling to be a glowing girl any time of the day.I must not be a hypocrite and not say I don't give in to such urges. But id say with this new surge of  cosmetic brands which has excited a big footfall towards them,I find myself lost. Entering this world of beauty products makes my skin feel like a plastic which is stretched here and there.Trying to beautify what I cannot have, what I was not god gifted. Women will always want to out do and try to achieve what we don't have. I will always want to become that hot person my imagination constantly hinders me to become. Starting where I did, I will be wrong to judge the "dented and painted women" - as said by this attention seeking politician,because again, as said by a friend these women can kick your ass. But let me take myself to question whether between there is a difference between me and that woman who gets off her Rolls Royce wearing a Dolce Gabbana,cologne'd in Gucci and holding a Chanel and wearing lots of make up from Dior,Elizabeth Arden or XYZ. Blemish free as her skin would be, she would walk in the sun with a hat on, with shades will actually go ahead and be able to walk in scorching heat,hit by the filthy crowd which probably hasn't bathed. Everyone tries to correct their faults,no one had the perfect kissable lips, big beautiful eyes and mountain topped brows. Then why are we running constantly,everyday to make ourselves feel free from our flaws? Why cant we accept that probably at the end of the day when you will come back home after you have faked your face with the 12 hour long :protective-water -sweat proof" concealing when you wash your face, you will shed that layer of skin which you were covering for so long. Every night you will sleep with your face. Your real one. The one you were born with. your husband,boyfriend,friends,girlfriend,mother,father, in-laws or any goddamn stranger knows you and will judge you in one second not by your face but by your voice.Be strong, dont be frail. Be assertive. Be demanding in your needs not your wants. Dont be that self consumed woman. Don't be that plastic face dummy. Dont be that mannequin. Be that beautiful woman your parents got you in as, put up that  layer once in a while to feel you are too perfect. But speck your bold voice and we'll see can you be the next "Cover Girl"?

On that note : HAPPY NEW YEAR !! 2013 <3

The Dark Place

Well well well, look who's on the dark side? Look around and get a reality check.Face the phase of nuances and nuisance, of horrible dreams and a horrid reality. Sketch yourself in between these empty places and demarcate a black spot. What will you own ? A true friend? A life long mate? Merely a side plate full of idiosyncratic, spiteful baloney. Left with nothing, you shall think of walking ahead, turning back was once the best option,is no more a choice. A mandate to snatch everything I wish till my foot has a sore. If that makes me scar faced so be it, if that makes me a self centered overly demanding -commanding inhumane human so be it. But if that means justice will be given to me irrespective of what I did wrong in the past I shall do it. Judge me as you like, curse me as you want but this step needs to be taken. Leave behind what you "did", stop thinking whats going to happen tomorrow? Live a day in my life and feel me. The minute you judge that woman who crossed the road wearing those boots and stepped in the puddle just to have fun? She did it not because she wanted to wet her leather boots but because jumping that one second of freedom was a portrayal of the trapped eager to break away from the darn cage. Why do I publish this? Why am I wrong? Why is it that you get away even when thou shall repeat my aforesaid "mistakes". Why am I the one to be warned? Why this urge to curb me? Even though I am no feminist, I take gender offence. So don't try to stretch me to the dark side, don't hide behind those curtains. Don't try to pull me into them when I throw you to the walls. I have strength in me which empowers me to become a successful individual of tomorrow and no body can ever snatch that away from me, you misanthropist. I did look back, but the dark place is not the niche I'd want to breed in. For the woman who did look back, its the light that makes my eyes blink. I may hold up that umbrella for shade,but its not because of the intensity that I am scared of, its the way I want myself to grow. I shall take only how much I can seep in and so I reap and keep walking.

If you can hold me tight in the light, speak up against me but accept that you're lost. I'll call you back. 

Till then take care.